If Caregivers Aren’t Parents
…..or what if they were?
Sometimes setting certain rules are not that hard but carrying it out consistently with every adult care giving a child is tough. If your child is taken care by nanny, grandparents or maid, chances are they’ll give in to him/her. We have to work extra hard as a disciplinarian when they’re under our care. Not to say that they do not love them, but they usually don’t take up the ‘disciplinarian’ role while you’re at work.
This leads to children believing that certain behavior is ‘allowed’ and
therefore he/she can do it anytime or anyplace. Good children gets confused about double standards. Naughty children test boundaries.
There may be 101 rules at home to enforce! Sometimes you may just wish you could sweep them all under the carpet! But for children sake, it cannot be ignored. Ultimately, you should make your child behave just as well even if they’re not with you.
I ever consulted my friend, who is a child psychologist and what I really learned was, children behavior are like clay forming into vase. It is really up to you to shape them – fat and short or thin and tall. But the caution here is it would NOT take long before they become hardened and the shape that you made is irreversible. This is when they reach the age of 6. Yes, not scaring you but that’s the fact. Not to say that you can’t change a child’s behavior after the age of 6, but it takes double effort! So, let’s start now when they are little babies…
Having said that, are is your child taken care by nanny, granny, maid or childcare? How does this affect their behavior and upbringing of your child? Nevertheless, it doesn’t guarantee that taking care or your child yourselves will lead to the best outcomes.
I guess we should ‘Plant the seeds, water them and weed away the wild grass’
While its daunting to think that a child’s personality will be shaped by us in his/her early years, it is also good to know I have until age 6 before things really set it — because its all a learning process, but hopefully by age 6 I will have worked out some of the kinks! Thanks for sharing.