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Two days ago I was dining at a restaurant. Some drama occurred across the table caught my attention. I observed a mother with a 7 year old boy. When the mother says ‘Stop jumping around’, the boy didn’t listen. Next, the mother says ‘Don’t litter’, the boy ignored and threw the tissue on the floor. The mother picked it up.  Next, the mother said ‘Don’t walk away, we’re eating here’.  The boy continued to ignore and ran beyond sight. The mother grabbed their food and her handbag chased after him.

Does this situation sounds familiar? Ever wonder why kids don’t listen?

James Lehman, Behavioral Therapist reveals the answer and logical parenting in the Total Transformation Program on why kids don’t listen. Some parents have a hard time getting their kids to listen to them. Apparently, it isn’t difficult. Every parents just need learn that skill. They need to learn how to parent.

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According to James, every parent picture and ideal child and parent them that way. They love kids who are well engaged in soccer or piano and fits in nicely into the family. Most parents continue to parent a child as if he is an ideal child and that’s where the danger is. Parenting becomes ineffective. Parents sets rules or limits but doesn’t enforce them firm enough. If the child challenges or acts out, parents renegotiate the boundaries.  Kids will learn that limits are nothing and rules can be broken. They learn that they need not commit and simply act out if they don’t feel like abiding by the rules. They learn that nothing will happen if rules are broken.

As parents, James explained, you have to stick to your rules. Clean your room means clean your room. Go to bed means go to bed. Be home by 5 o’ clock means be home by 5 o’ clock. So on and so forth. The challenge is ‘What If My Child Doesn’t Come Home By 5 o’ clock!?’. James explains that you wouldn’t wanna hear excuses. Give him next 3 days to be home by 5 and if he doesn’t abide, then he can’t go out. Show him that you’ll stick to the rules and so would he.

Can you now relate to why the mother at the restaurant failed to get her kid to listen? Simply because when the boy doesn’t listen, he can get away with it and it became a bad habit.

In my opinion, many parents do not take action when rules are broken. If you opt for ignorance or easy-way-out, that will be the reason for kids not to listen to you – ever again.